We grieve because we love.
Inside the Broken Heart was written to help widows and widowers understand grief in the emotional and physical aftermath of death and guide the way back to fullness of life. Forever changed, we emerge from the darkness of grief in search of light, the light of new life.
“And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace…will himself restore, support, strengthen and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10-11
If you have been on the journey of grief longer than a few days or weeks, perhaps for months or years, likely you have passed the nadir of the valley of the shadow of death. You have been through the darkest hours of anger, fear, and loneliness and are moving gradually, imperceptibly away from death towards life. Life as it is without husband or wife, life here and now, life as it is becoming.
We all have a story.
“We spend our years as a tale that is told.” Psalm 90:9
My husband, Dr. Leighton Farrell, was Senior Minister of Highland Park United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas for twenty-three years. In 2004 Leighton was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died ninety days later. I was destroyed: my soul shattered into one million small pieces. At fifty-five I was young and very old. I was alone.
Death and grief enjoy a remarkable taboo in our society. Not because of their sacred and inviolable nature, rather because of our innate aversion to the consideration of our own mortality. Like you, I have faced death in the first person. Although I am not a therapist or professional, I have immersed myself in grief literature since the death of my husband, intent on fully understanding my life-altering encounter with grief. Even as I cherish our marriage, the best part of my life, I work to transform the experience of grief into a new life that honors the memory of my beloved husband, a life lived in gratitude for the faithfulness of God.
Death has redemptive value as loss and survival inspire us to greater compassion for the suffering of others. To those whose grief is newer than ours we offer the humanity and wisdom of a life tried and tested. May the promises of the Bible used as topical reference sustain and encourage you to trust in life and contemplate hope Inside the Broken Heart.
You are not alone.
